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Glad when guys used to be themselves like me and were outgoing and have women chasing them. There's nothing false at all about what I wrote, it's just being conscious and selective about how that truth is presented. I do think the NLP bit is taking this to the next u. Greet her, then sit down with your friends. On the other hand smiling is good in about 90% of sitautions. This is the sort of shyte that makes men pull these tactics. Compliments — The vast majority of people like complements and are attracted to people that nlp dating profile them one. Terrence McClendon MA, a social psychologist was trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming NLP in California by the founders of NLP. She'll send you her reply.

Let me be honest, the title is a cheap attempt at grabbing readers attention. A more accurate title would have been Demystifying NLP — Rapid rapport Building, but I got fed up of having a similar title every day so I dumped my ethics at the door and went for broke. The advice in here can indeed be used to attract a mate, but more importantly it can be used to help you build rapid rapport in any given situation. As a species we feel more at home when we are surrounded by people that look similar, behave similar and have similar beliefs and values. Before I get into the meat of this post I want to reiterate what I said yesterday and that like my wife, this is only right most of the time, not all the time. You have to start by calibrating the situation if you want to increase your chances of success. Having said that, if you are in telesales and have 3. Pace — Pacing is critical in building rapport especially when using the phone. Pacing is the act of following the tempo of the person that you are talking to. This does not mean mimic them or make a half-assed attempt at copying their accent, it simple means listening for their speed and pitch of delivery and match it as closely as you can. Fast talkers usually get frustrated with slow talkers, and slow talkers think people that talk at 100mph are on speed and can feel intimidated by them. Once you are pacing and in rapport you can then start to return slowly to how you want the conversation to go. Low and behold the other person will often unconsciously start to pace you, and you have control of the situation as well as knowing you have rapport. People that are in rapport will often have similar body language. When one crosses a leg, more often than not the other will do too. A good starting point with this can be with an introductory handshake. Amazingly enough you do have long enough during a handshake to get this right, so practice it. Note: Mirroring and matching are really one and the same, with matching if the other person crosses their left leg, you do too, and with mirroring it would mean you cross the opposite leg. Hold eye contact when they are talking because this shows interest but remember to break it from time to time. Compliments — The vast majority of people like complements and are attracted to people that give them one. A big no-no here though is not to make them up. Smiling — This is a tough one when talking about building rapport. It can depend heavily on the person you are trying to build rapport with and the situation you are in. If you walk in looking like the village idiot on crack you may lose any chance to bond before you even get your first word out. On the other hand smiling is good in about 90% of sitautions. We all have a primary representational system that will be visual, auditory or kinesthetic. I may go into these in more detail in another post although equally, I may not but the skinny is this. If in doubt mix it up and try avoiding staying stuck in your own in case. Look for things in common — This can be a brilliant rapport builder and one I frequently used when I was in sales. It works best when you are in their home or office environment. Look for signs of things they like that you also like. The moment you get the person talking about a passion that you both share is the moment that you have rapport. Be funny, smell nice and be halfway good looking. After I learned NLP it was impossible for me to get dates for months until I realized what I was doing wrong. A while ago I started intentionally breaking rapport, not doing what they were doing on purpose i. I had much more luck with this. By not creating rapport you seem to make yourself stand out in a way and build attraction like that. However I can certainly see how pacing as a stepping stone to leading could come in handy. Dave — Thanks for the feedback Dave and of course I realize that you are only here for research purposes so no worries there. The only problem is I was bloody useless with stuff like that when I was younger. Hi Tim, I enjoyed this post. Thank you for taking the time to put it together.

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